It’s been too long (for me) that I felt left out of that ball of fire, that fire of inspiration, that solid, manic, deeply driven passion, that mad stuff that makes me who I am.
To be mad and heaven-held and to know what I’m doing and to know I’m all right, that my body is free and my mind isn’t chained to the ground. It’s not about living intensely, it’s about writing songs and playing them out to people. As many people and as often as possible. It’s been too long till last night, when I started reading Bob Dylan’s autobiography and, boom, I was swished back to myself, to that place where I totally belong. What can I say, that shiny black-and-white NYC, just the way I know it, that freezing winter, and the coolest, coolest places and sounds, steaming underground and starry, starry upper life, the East Village, cutting the cold with an inner fire greater than anything that might stand on your way. Myself turning into my own kind of music. Mad man making music and the air is oh so blasting free. LOVE itself cannot even come close to it.
And no religion too. Everything, the city and an entire era is being born. Everything that happens to you, people you meet and places you go, makes a cryptically firm kind of sense. And you have a million songs in your hand. Oh, man. Last night, Bob Dylan’s Chronicles, a glass of wine and a new song in my hands, my piano and all, it felt like NYC at its best again, right here in the freezing cold of Jerusalem.

Here’s a quote:

“I wanted to play for anybody. I could never sit in a room and just play all by myself. I needed to play for people and all the time. You can say I practiced in public and my whole life was becoming what I practiced.” (Bob Dylan)

And another one:

“I’d either drive people away, or they’d come closer to see what it was all about. There were a lot of better singers and better musicians around these places but there wasn’t anybody close in nature to what I was doing. Folk songs were the way I explored the universe…” (Bob Dylan)

Blue Eyed Shadow- The Lyrics

You keep on calling me all that late at night.
I really don’t know what’s on you mind. I just want to get laid, kinda sweet and safe, by your side.
But you’re beating around with your new music collection.
There’s something about your late night voice
that doesn’t feel right. I’m scared to be wondering aloud,
do you love me, do you love me not. I’m letting you talk.
You get scared and annoyed.
I’m moving my Dylan around,
getting sick of my voice.
You’re playing awful hard-to-get with my words.
I just gotta get laid tonight.

You remember everything about last night, I kinda like it.
You didn’t like Hedwig, you didn’t get me at all.
I realize how far you can go,
20 years get in the way of getting laid,
washed in mad music, tripping ahead.
Dylan, Bright Eyes, Beck, Ryan Adams, Pete Yorn
and a Badly Drawn Boy.
I wonder what really went wrong on your zone
that you sound so alone at your home.
You’ve been tracking down songs, smiling away,
with just the wrong accent on the wrong face, on the wrong day.
I just wanna get laid tonight.

I know just what you’re thinking. I’m thinking just the same.
Got some problems saying what I want at your face,
but I’m working on it. I’m taking some French.
I manage an army of hi-tech boom-brains, and I’m doing allright.
You got a great voice, dancing there all on your own. Kinda cool. Everyone’s getting married, hard-core famous, music biz faces,
great shiny places and all. What a great show and a perfect day.
You look like a top-model.
I’m just a working class hero with something to say. Well, don’t block the way of your bright shining spark.
Trust me when I tell you that I love you so hard.
Ooh, but I don’t. I get scared.
Morning breaks and I’m kinda running away.
Out of your quiet peace of town, right down my little piece of hell. Back in the city where no one can tell, right from wrong,
natural shine from intangible gel.
I’m doing what I want, acting what I am.
And no one ever really messes up with my name.
If I tell you I love you, please don’t get me wrong.
My music gets to choose my top-ten pleasures of this world.